I just finished a wonderful book by Elizabeth Berg, Say When; it was amazing. The book crystallizes an intimate look at the reasons a relationship can go awry. Like a silent killer, a stealth bomb, the every day ignoring/missing of the signs and symptoms can destroy the relationship bond. My heart ached from the reality of how close so many of us come to such a place-unaware and devastated when the truth is forced upon us.
It doesn’t have to be. If you don’t know something is displeasing to someone how can you be expected to do something about it? Some are more intuitive than others and that may help, but only if it becomes part of a communication stream and the information, response, reaction, feeling…is shared.
Intimacy and good communication are fundamental building blocks for any good relationship. There are varying degrees of each in any partnership, this is true. However, in a mature, adult, monogamous situation, the bonds of intimacy and communication are seldom truly replicated in another relationship. The uniqueness of this type of partnership is the trust embodied via the honest and mutual communication leading to an exquisite mixture of the physical and ultimately the spiritual.
Love, intimacy, and good communication are like a garden, they need tending…watering, pruning, feeding, tilling…nurturing. In our busy complex lives it’s important to remember to till the soil. The rewards will be great.